


Taking Doctors to Veterinarians

by Kittywitch



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: AU, Cat AU, Cats, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-10
Updated: 2018-07-10
Packaged: 2019-06-08 10:36:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 835
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15241533
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kittywitch/pseuds/Kittywitch
Summary: In this one-shot AU, cat owners Peri and Clara commiserate about living with temperamental animals.





	Taking Doctors to Veterinarians

            A yellow paw fished experimentally at the latch of the basket. The claws extended, carefully retracted, the paw hooked around the latch and the door of the cat basket was pushed open. Normally, one might think that the cat would be trying to escape its basket in order to escape the woman who put it in there and the veterinarian visit that was sure to follow, but in the case of this particular very loud and very cuddly cat, it decided to climb up into the woman’s lap and onto her chest, meowing piteously the entire time.

            “What do you think you’re doing?” asked Peri, pulling the cat off of her chest.

            “ _Mreow!”_ the cat insisted.

            “You’re not getting out of this. You’re getting a rabies shot!”

            “Meow?” the cat sounded offended. “ _Meow?! MEEEEEIIOW!”_

            “I heard you the first time, Mr. President. Now get back in the basket!”

 

            As Peri attempted to negotiate the cat vs. cat basket situation, the only other woman in the waiting room was also having trouble with her cat. A short woman with brown hair was trying to calm down a grey cat who was either very fluffy or very agitated or both. Peri’s cat stopped trying to burrow into her hair to notice the noise the other cat was making and hiss at them. Which meant of course that the grey cat needed to hiss back at the yellow one.

            “Stop it, Funkenstien!” the English woman scolded.

            “I’m sorry, I tried to keep him in his carrier, he really hates… everyone.”

            “Trust me, I understand,” said Clara. “Can’t live with them, can’t make them act like dogs.”

            “I don’t know what I’d do if he started acting like a dog.” Peri pulled her slightly overweight cat off her shoulder and into her lap. He attempted to knead her chest affectionately, which would have been less of a problem if she had more of a shirt. The cat couldn’t seem to settle between purring and growling and made a game attempt at doing both at once.

 

            “He’s got interesting fur…” said Clara, conversationally.

            “Thanks, I think,” said Peri. “He’s a la Perm. Even their whiskers are curly. It’s actually not as bad as regular fur if you’re slightly allergic to cats, which I am.”

            “If you’re allergic to cats, why have you got one?” asked Clara. Peri smiled helplessly.

            “I couldn’t get rid of him, he’s too big a part of my life. I didn’t get rid of my stepfather when he treated me like crap, and frankly, I like this cat a lot more than I ever liked Howard.” Peri explained, rubbing the cat’s head. “I had a golden retriever before this, but I couldn’t take him to England with me. He’s living with a nice family now, lots of kids. To be honest, I always thought that I was more of a dog person. But now that I’ve met this little diva, I’m a diva person. Maybe he’s a little bad for me, but…”

            “You just love your cat,” said Clara.

            “Don’t tell him that, it’ll just go to his head.” Peri made a show of covering her cat’s ears, which he attempted to turn into being stroked while still looking annoyed at her.

 

            “What’s yours named?” asked Clara. Peri smiled awkwardly.

            “The President,” she admitted. “I thought it would be funny to say things like, ‘I need to get the President off the table’ or ‘I had to kick the President out of bed because he kept sticking his butt in my face’, since I’m living in Britain right now and people kept asking me if I know the president… it’s silly.”

            “No, I completely understand. I think you need to give cats silly names so that you don’t get too mad when you’re yelling at them.” Clara smiled evilly, ”And to punish them for being little monsters. It took me a while to think of something bad enough for this cat.”

            She lifted the animal slightly so that it would glare moodily at Peri instead of the President.

            “Meet Dr. Basil Funkenstien.”

            “ _Basil Funkenstien?_ ” Peri laughed.

            “Dr. Basil Funkenstien,” Clara confirmed, returning Funkenstien to her lap.

            “And he deserves that name?”

            “Absolutely. He’s the biggest troublemaker I’ve ever met. He _hates_ my boyfriend.” said Clara. “If we come back to my place after a date, he always finds a way to stick his tail in Danny’s face at the worst moment. But I can’t leave him alone for too long or he’ll get the cabinets open and eat all of the food he can get his paws on. He steals off my plate all the time.”

            “Huh. I don’t think I’d mind that.” Peri laughed, scratching under the President’s chin. “Maybe I should start bringing the President on walks with me, see if he deters catcalls. God knows he’s the only guy I’ve had in my bed for a while.”

             “Maybe.” said Clara. “Or maybe they’d start catcalling the actual cat.”

             “Still an improvement.” Peri grinned.

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I know that "God knows he’s the only guy I’ve had in my bed for a while.” sounds a little weird, but it's the kind of weird pet owners get about their cats. It isn't supposed to imply anything other than normal cat/human relationships. Even if I write a lot of six/Peri in other AUs, there is no room for it in this AU because he's a CAT.


End file.
